Welcome back readers. I’m updating my blog with an overdue brain dump. ughhhhhhhhhhh. So I’ve been trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing here with the life I’ve been born into. I thought I knew but I knew not. I tried to write a mini-autobiography and it splintered into a philosophical treatise. How can one know about me if they don’t know my motives and how can they know motives if I don’t know my motives. And so I set out to explain my worldview, to get to the bottom of some things and I’ve found that some things are seemingly bottomless.

I’ve integrated new concepts into my thinking such as mutual arising (organic coevolution), single point origin theory, infinite universes, eternal recurrence &/or eternal divergence, the lack of an absolute definition, arbitrariness & absurdity.

These have trickled down altering my view on anarchism, and thus politics, as requiring coercionlessness, which then doesn’t necessarily oppose government if it’s coercionless.

The coevolution of species has led to a food web that cannot be altered without collapsing, we are slaves to this murderous cycle that has gone on since the beginning of evolution, presumably all over the universe. A universe that shows cause to be indefinitely repeating, possibly identically or some combination thereof infinitely. If one wants to venture into multiverses then the misery is multiplied infinitely. The unending nightmare that is life, that is consciousness. The despair that what has been organically comingled cannot be undone organically or inorganically. To organically breed out breeding is not possible. To breed out the institutions of cruelty is impossible for they are part & parcel of survival. And so my desire for justice, an end to cruelty, has been rendered futile. Free to accept the cruelty of life and free to live in denial. The optimist sees an opportunity in the tragedy of having to murder for a living, the pessimist sees the tragedy in the opportunity of having to murder for a living.

This realization had thrown me into an existential crisis. Spiraling down the vacuumous void of uncertainty. and so I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of my own philosophy by studying it’s metaphilosophy. According to Deleuze, the function of philosophy is about concept creation. My philosophy is governed/shaped by overarching principles (of value) such as ‘philosophy serves life (humans), not life serves philosophy’, and ‘mind over matter’, ‘with the end being to be a better person’, ‘a philosophy that lasts long’, ‘ how many adherents of your philosophy'(applicability to others), ‘if it doesn’t make sense then I cannot reasonably be expected to follow it’, (To control philosophy so that it doesn’t control you. To not worship the ideology for it’s own sake. To not be dogmatic. To adhere to the rules that believe you should adhere to. ) This governs my filters of choices, my lens, of all philosophical policies to follow in order to be consistent. And so consistency is revealed to be a value built into the (meta-)framework of my philosophy. I’ve decided upon the value of self-honesty as necessary to maintain the value of consistency. You decide the metarules that govern the framework of the philosophy that will govern you. To not betray your principles, the metaprinciples of your philosophy of choice. My metaprinciple of choice seems to hinge on self-honesty over honesty with others, a principle valuing consistency and self-survival.

The point of me being a philosopher is to help myself navigate through this life the best I can, as it’s the circumstance of this lifeform’s lifespan being conditional upon good health (healthcare). I’ve committed to this point of being a philosopher, and reserve the right to reevaluate it as needed.

I neither value being dogmatic as a general principle, “to lay down principles as incontrovertibly true”, nor do I believe I have a means of demonstrating an absolute definition of ‘absolute’ and thus anything. It would be dogmatic to abnegate myself of dogmatism absolutely. This creates linguistic uncertainty, uncertainty about how to communicate anything reliably about the world to one another, which further lends to a fuzzy worldview.

Is my life leading toward a grand adventure as with all others? A life that leads to the best of all possible aeons. An experience of as much worthy things as possible. If a genuine role must be played then to play it well. And so I’ll end here for my first post back. Happy new year!